How can you do it all? Short answer: I don't. I've become an expert at letting things go, because it's impossible for me to be happy and do it all. The day after I signed the lease for my store, I found out I was pregnant. I remember the extreme fear that took over my body and my brain. For nights I wondered, sleepless, how will I do it all? How will I make it work? A family, a toddler and a baby! The first weeks I felt like a moving train which was about to crash, and there was was nothing I could do. After a hard breakdown I decided to take everything day by day, and to let go.
I often tell my friends who have no kids that having children is the only experience that I have found challenging in my life... That's because the love that you experience is so strong that there is no space for making a mistake. The biggest treasure of my life is my family, how can I balance work and life without letting one or the other down? There has to be a sacrifice, but what if you don't want to make one?
Being a mom and a wife is always my priority, but in order for me to make them happy, I need to be happy. That's why I decided to leave many things in what I call an unbalanced state. Here is my list of what I let go to feel at peace with myself. Please feel free to take this as a fun read, not a piece of advice. I don't feel I got it all figured out, just sharing what has made my life easier.
1. I gave up cooking and household shores: I was never a great cook or at managing my household. Dinner was always missing ingredients, and we could go for weeks without a bar of soap because I simply couldn't remember the list of groceries! When Naomi was born my memory got worst, I had a thousand things in my mind and simply couldn't do it all. I felt guilt and also pressure (Mainly from Pinterest and Instagram :p ) how did all those bloggers cooked and I didn't? How were all houses perfect and beautiful and mine was a mess? How were all moms perfect and I looked like I had just woken up? One day the pressure was so strong I decided I simply can't do it all. There is things I must give up, otherwise I might loose my mind... Most days dinner is cooked by my husband, who loves to cook; groceries are purchased via Instacart because ain't nobody got time for grocery shopping; I work, pick my daughter from school, prepare her a snack at home, and play with her all afternoon. When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it's true. There is no way you can work, raise children and do it all. It truly takes a village!
2. The perfect body, yoga classes and amazing hair are long gone: Contrary to what you see on my Instagram, most days I wear sweatpants and sneakers and I rarely do my hair (2 years of roots are there to prove it). Sitting on a salon for 2 hours while they do my hair? No thank you, I got better things to do with my life; and I can't remember the last time I went to the gym! There are certain things you have to give up when you have a business and a family. There will be time in the future to have a perfect body and perfect hair, but now, my sanity and happiness is all that matters! When the right moment comes I will have time to be like I used to be, and if there is never time again, I'm happy I didn't push my body or myself to be perfect, just to be happy! I would really love to work out as soon as I end my pregnancy, but I would never push my body to extremes, just because I know I won't be happy.
3. I was always relaxed, but now I'm beyond relaxed! Naomi painted the walls with a sharpie? That's fine! Peppa Pig will save my life at the restaurant? Sure, watch Peppa Pig! We'll have to order take-out 3 days in a row? fine! There will be crying and tantrums, and yogurt stains on the sofa, and days when you might want to cry from all the stress, and days when you will be late... but understand that life will pass by like a flash and most importantly, life is not perfect! My mantra is let go to be happy. But even when I'm not happy, I accept that it wasn't my best day and quickly let go as well.
Now that I'm on the count down to become a mom again, with a toddler at home, an amazing husband who is on this crazy ride with me, and a brand new store, I humbly pray to G-d to please give me the wisdom to make them happy by being happy. I want to be the best for them, for myself, and our future. That our dinners continue to be a mess but that we dine together every night, and that our walls continue to be full of toddler paintings while our little ones are healthy!
Photos by @Simplylively
Dress: For Love And Lemons